Episode #8: Melissa Monte – Full Transcription

Lisa: 00:01 Welcome to my podcast, Melissa.

Melissa: 00:03 Thanks for having me.

Lisa: 00:04 I'm wondering if you could start by just telling us a little bit about some of the key points in your journey so far. Maybe there are remarkable moments or events that have happened in your life that have led you to the place you're at, right here, right now.

Melissa: 00:20 Definitely. I've had, I like to call it, an eclectic life. My mom always told me I should write a book but I've had so many different sections of my life where they seem like they should be totally unrelated. I was a good student when I was growing up and then a couple of years before college I was hit with my first traumas. About four or five things happening all at once. I was raped. I lost a friend to suicide and then I found out my dad was dying. I like to just kind of stay on the positive side so I was really ignoring the effects that it was having on me. But I ended up partying super hard in college and I developed a very heavy eating disorder during the time that my dad was dying. Then all of a sudden it just overtook my life.

Melissa: 01:05 I remember actually thinking about the fact that I don't think I could ever be with anybody because how was I going to hide this? I don't think that I could stop. There were days that I would sit in my house and just be bingeing and purging hundreds of dollars worth of food on a college budget. Crazy. And I was like that for eight years and sometimes I'd get a little bit better but then fall back into it but it was never gone. I kept spiraling.

Melissa: 01:29 I ended up meeting somebody that seemed great and part of the reason I liked him was that he was not bothered by anything. He gave me my first book, “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz. That started to make me realize that I could control more than I thought as far as my own happiness goes and that was a pro and a con because on one hand it really did set off this little thing in my brain that causes me to keep seeking.

01:56 But on the other hand, it caused me to turn a blind eye to a lot of stuff that was going on in that relationship because I thought he was the way he was because he had read books like this and nothing seemed to bother him. Turned out he was actually on a lot of meth and I only really realized it when he would not have meth. In order to support his habit, he was robbing houses. So I knew something was up, but I honestly thought he was cheating on me.

02:21 I ended up going to Hawaii for a full month. When I came back, he seemed to have some stuff back in order and then I went to lunch with him one day and he was telling me how his mom gave him money to restart his business and we ended up getting arrested. So I'm sitting in a jail cell and I don't even really know what is happening for days, for eight days actually. Eight days.

Lisa: 02:21 This is at what age?

Melissa: 02:48 24 maybe, or 22. I come from a family where my step-dad was a police officer my whole life. My mom worked at a church. So, there's just no way I was going to call them. I ended up finally getting out of my own or recognizance. Through the course of the next couple of years I ended up finding out the whole story about what happened.

03:07 This was a big pivotal moment for me. It kind of set me off on my entrepreneurial journey. Before that, I had always prided myself that I could get any job that I wanted. After that, I didn't want to apply for jobs because I would then have to show that I had something on my record. I was in Hawaii during all of the robberies, but I had a really bad lawyer because I was trying to do everything myself and not bring my parents in the mix and he had a really good lawyer.

Lisa: 03:07 Got It.

Melissa: 03:32 He ended up robbing all the houses in the same way. They knew every single one that he did. Thank God I was in Hawaii, but if I wanted to prove that I was in Hawaii, which was very easy to do – I had flights. I had my debit card. Everything was used there for a month – I would have had to take it to trial, which meant he had to go to trial and his lawyer was good enough that they were getting a deal for him.

03:56 So a young, stupid, 22-year old said, take one for the team because otherwise I'm literally sending him to jail. It was going to be a minimum of 11 years. So I did that and it was a really bad decision.  But I did stop talking to him and I moved to LA in order to get away from him because he was so manipulative. I'm very sure that he was a sociopath. He just didn't have any feelings towards other people unless it was directly affecting him. So he ended up following me out to LA. He threw a brick through my windshield at one time and then he ended up continuing to rob houses and he's now still in jail to this day.

Lisa: 04:32 Wow! What a story. I was going to say, how is it that you don't feel nervous about even talking about him publicly? But I guess if he's in jail, there's certain kind of distance and protection.

Melissa: 04:44 Yeah, and honestly he was never violent. I don't think he's ever hurt anybody physically.  He was really smart. He wasn't like the scummy-like thief. Nobody suspected him because he didn't seem like he would do something like that.

New Speaker: 04:58 The bright side of that is I started seeking things. I started looking at online businesses and I started just reading and finding yoga was a big step forward because I found all these people that have mindfulness and these little experiences, these little choices I started to make, started to unlock all these possibilities for me.

05:18 I would say that those moments were the few most defining moments. I ended up working with a startup, making a lot of money and then in 2018 and my landlord decided to sell our place. My company shut down and I crashed my car in like a 12-day period of time.

05:33 So at this point I went up to Big Bear for a Christmas party at the very last minute and that day I ended up meeting the person who's my husband now. We bonded over the book, “The Power” by Rhonda Byrne, which is the sequel to “The Secret”.  Meeting somebody that was also on a path of growth…it just felt like everything started skyrocketing…on the right path.

Lisa: 05:33 Beautiful.

Melissa: 05:55 That was kind of a long, long story, but there was a plenty of things in between that.

 

Lisa: 06:01 That's incredible. What a journey even just in that short amount of time and like you said, there's probably so much more. A couple of the thoughts that I have in listening to that…It sounds like you've had intense moments. You've had highs and lows and you've had more life experience than many people have in their entire life.

Melissa: 06:18 Now what I hear in your story is not only a sense of serendipity but also some kind of inner strength and inner power and I'm wondering if you can reflect a little bit on to what degree, what you know now, and what has become the way that you guide your life has been either innate or something that you've learned or some combination of both. That's a pretty like wide-ranging question, but can you take that one on?

Melissa: 06:44 Yeah, I definitely can. I do have to, first and foremost, thank my parents. I was an only child. My parents split up when I was really young. I was lucky enough to be blessed with an amazing step-Dad, by the time I was four and as the only child, I got a lot of support. I ended up having two step-brothers but were a little bit more into making trouble and so I was the winner…and say that because that's how I felt as a child.  And my dad was really great too.  Actually he gave me my sense of curiosity. I was raised very Christian, although I do not identify as Christian today. My Dad really encouraged me to check out other religions. His purpose was for me to defend my faith at that time, but for me I was like, wow, all these religions are saying very similar things.  And my natural sense of curiosity, that makes me see the bigger picture I guess, and that's the one thing a lot of people have said about me and my life is that I'm able to take a bunch of parts of all this knowledge that I've learned from other places and see the big picture of how it all relates together.  But I do have to say that a lot of my confidence comes from the fact that I was told I could do anything as a child. Now I'm very different than my parents. My dad died of cancer as I mentioned earlier and my mom and my step-dad are both very much… like he was a cop. He had a very stable job, and my mom worked at a grocery store until she decided to get little jobs for fun at a golf shop and church. So I'm the first one that's going on the entrepreneur side. Realizing I had to get myself out of certain mental places in order to survive, I remember laying in bed in a sorority house after drinking like a bottle of vodka the night before and waking up and just being like, “get up” and now I look back on that moment and I don't think it was my own voice. I just did an episode actually on intuition and it said sometimes you'll hear a voice in your head that that might not sound like you, using words that you wouldn't use and that that's your intuition or like a higher consciousness kind of inserting itself there.

But it wasn't until I met my husband that I was really able to skyrocket. It was like set back, up and then set back. But I knew that there was this ability there, set your own path. It just feels like when you're learning a new skill. Growth in general, feels like that, where OK, say you pick up a flute and at first you're horrible, you'll make a little bit of progress, maybe hit a couple notes, but then there's this huge huge learning curve. I feel like personal growth is a lot like that. You'll read a book and you'll feel super pumped and you'll go out into the world happier and then suddenly something happens and you get cut off on the road or something and you're angry and you're like overcome by that emotion and you can't figure out how to get back to that happy place. But if you keep trying, if you keep focusing, then suddenly the next thing that comes up doesn't feel as difficult. And so I think a lot of people aren't expecting that same learning curve and some of their personal growth. Did that answer your question?

Lisa: 09:44 What I want to just sort of jam on with what you're raising right now is the idea of hitting a plateau and you're talking about it with regard to personal growth and how we experience life and that that might not be something that people expect.  But I think that no matter what it is we're trying to learn or we're trying to improve on that plateau is a challenge. And I know I've faced that so many times in my own life and I think it's something that anyone trying to learn and grow is going to face.  Maybe you can say a little more about how you have approached that or what kind of mindset or what kind of tactics have helped you if you've been facing that kind of plateau.

Melissa: 10:22 Definitely. I've faced this plateau in a ton of areas of my life. I like to take on new things. I'm a certified skydiver. I snowboard, I go slack-lining, which is kind of like tightrope walking, and I play the piano. And then along with personal growth or building a business or getting more podcasts listeners. Um, but one of the things that I discussed with my husband about Deliberate Practice, so when we go into a new skill, the whole thing is practice. So snowboarding is one that really does have a learning curve in the beginning, but then all of a sudden you kind of know the basics and then it gets boring. That happens with a lot of things were when you first go, everything about it is new and exciting, but then you kind of get it and you have your little habits and then suddenly it's mundane.  So what I personally do is Deliberate Practice, which is focusing on just one metric at a time and finding a way even if it's not the most important one at this moment  Because if you're really demotivated, sometimes you just have to find the most fun thing to work on. The thing that interests you the most to just get over that until you kind of get back into your practice habits. Pick one metric. So snowboarding, it could be your left turn. And so I like to do that with every area. Like right now I'm really focusing on meditation, so when I find myself in line, I try to just sit there and have like a mini during-my-life-meditation. And so I always have things like that and seeing the progress, the progress is addicting to me. Now I find something in any of the areas I want to improve, whether it's my mental health, my happiness, my relationship with my husband, keeping in touch with friends and I pick one metric and I work on that and make it fun. So that's my biggest way to get over plateau. But I also do try a lot of different things. And so for me the plateau isn't as bothersome than it is maybe for some people who only have one or two hobbies. 

Lisa: 12:37 I'm so much the same ideal with plateaus by jumping around to different interests. And I used to criticize myself for that, on some kind of internal level, but now I actually see it as a tactic and a strategy that's just fine.

Melissa: 12:49 Yeah, I agree with you. I see what you meant when you said you used to kind of beat yourself up because I think if you do that with everything all the time, then there's a big downfall because it's just leaving a ton of things unfinished. But if you have the few things that you know you're going to stick with, whether it's your business or even just your marriage or friendships, or I don't know any, any kind of hobbies.  You have the one thing that you are kind of determined to get better at through your lifetime? That's great. But also give yourself the freedom to just let things go in your life. Like I used to skydive. I don't skydive anymore because somebody died that used to pack my parachute. I was like, oh my God. I just went skydiving 17 times in a month. And I'm not saying I'm never going to go again, but you do have to just let things go sometimes with it's no longer serving, you know.  You also don't want to limit yourself. Like if you, if you force yourself to keep all of the hobbies in your life, you're never going to want to try new stuff because it's going to become too overwhelming. So yeah…

Lisa: 13:54 I really appreciate your emphasis on Deliberate Practice and I'm wondering if you could just, in order to give more clarity on what it looks like, if you could give a few more examples. So you have the meditation Deliberate Practice, which is, in any moment when you have a, when you're standing in line, you use that time to practice meditation in real-life-in-action almost. That's a great one. Can you do have a couple more you could share in other areas of your life to illustrate?

Melissa: 14:23 Yeah. Yeah. And this idea of deliberate practice, the exact phrasing came from a book called “Peak, The New Science of Expertise”. It's a really good book, highly recommend it, but some of my take on it is combined with a book called “Flow” as well. I'm a huge book nerd.

Lisa: I cannot say his last name if you can, you get kudos, but I love that book!

Melissa: I actually just looked up a youtube on how to pronounce this. Me-hel-low-me-check-me-hi. Or something like that. It doesn't look like it's spelled like that at all, but it is.  So deliberate practice! There are a number of ways to do it. Having a coach, take courses, or do a little workshop.  And I don't have to stay in a class or go to voice training every week for years, but I do like to get my basis of knowledge that I can trust. So for example, I got my husband a rock climbing lesson. We had a private instructor for his birthday, but then the next few times we might be practicing more on just using legs and see how little I can use my arms. So I'll find, like I said, one metric or with slack-lining. Are you familiar with slack-lining?

Lisa: 15:36 Uh, you walk on a tight-rope? Right?

Melissa: 15:38 Yeah, it's basically a tight-rope and we do that at the beach quite often because I live in Santa Monica and it's awesome. We'll loosen the rope a lot for a day and then we set the actual goal. Find the one way you're going to practice and promise yourself you're going to do it 20 times before you agree to go home. Also, I really like singing and so I'll work on like, one song at a time and I'm not professionally trained but I am youtube trained. 

I like to deliberately practice most of the things I do.  It makes life more fun, less monotonous.  And I have really, really been incorporating routines in my life these days as well. And so routines can get boring, but if you add a slight bit of deliberate practice to your routine, you can be doing the same thing every day but focusing a little bit differently and then you see even more growth with all of it.

Lisa: 16:29 One of the people that I have learned from, or I am learning from about practice, is my sister. She's a professional singer, she is a voice teacher and she is a singer-songwriter and she practices a lot when she's visiting me and I remember one time she was practicing and she was singing the same three notes over and over again and I was amazed at the degree of granularity of her practice and I asked her about it and I said, so what is it you're doing exactly? And she said, I'm trying to find the right way to, to connect the second note to the third note, or whatever it was. That is a deliberate practice that I think could go a long way. Just not even just one song, but breakdown one phrase and how are you working on that phrase? I think that sort of speaks to the kind of thing you're talking about, right?

Melissa: 17:12 Exactly. The one thing you've got to be careful of is ingraining the wrong habits and so doing the wrong thing over and over and over again, uh, so find some way that you can see yourself from an objective point of view if you aren't getting a coach. So either get a coach where they can say no, that's still wrong there. Or record yourself.

Lisa: 17:31 Absolutely. And I think that is especially true where muscle memory has an impact. Do you want to talk a bit about habits? I think you were, you didn't say habits, you said routine. Do you want to talk a bit about routine and how you use routines to improve your life?

Melissa: 17:44 Yeah. This is something that I'm super passionate about because I've been looking back my life and I've realized how many negative routines affected me. So for instance, um, bulemia in general, bingeing and purging, that's, that's a routine, but it's just a bad routine. But I think we're all creatures of habit. And so if you're not focusing on what routines do you want to bring into your life, you may be handed the routines you accidentally form. So I think I lived most of my life accidentally forming so many bad habits, including biting my nails, bulemia there. There's a bunch of stuff. So lately I've been focusing on all of the positive routines you can put into your life and the first is that willpower is a muscle and so if you wake up every morning and every single morning you're picking a new outfit to wear and then deciding what you're having for breakfast and then deciding if you're going to have coffee or tea and you have all these little decisions to make by the time you have to do something big, your willpower is going to be shot.  And so I have a morning routine and I have an evening routine and then I even have a little routine, if I can't get out of distraction. I'll go take a long walk and listen to something relaxing or do a meditation. So I've been trying to see how many routines I can put in place to eliminate decisions that have to make in any given day. And it's been very, very effective.

So my morning routine, I like to wake up, drink water, take my vitamin, goes straight to yoga. When I get out of Yoga, I do my meditation in the car, I come home, I make my Macho Latte and I review the day that I planned the night before. So then I write in my gratitude journal. When I go to bed I start by making a cup of tea. I like to have the little rewards and then plan my day for tomorrow and then writing in my gratitude journal. I want to do a full meditation at night, but it doesn't always happen. So now this year one of my goals is to bring more of that in with my outfits and my food. So food is always something to decide. And so my husband and I are actually trying to figure out ways that we can either get one of those food delivery things. And actually I bought six black shirts so I only wear black shirts and jeans now. So yeah, I have all of these routines. But I will also say that in the past six months I have exceeded my goals and it's addicting. Writing down goals and actually accomplishing them. I feel like I've always just sort of mindlessly written my goals and go into the new year, pretty stoked on them and maybe they last a little bit, but just like 99 percent are actually things like eighty percent of people don't finish their new year's resolutions.  But this year I am very confident that I'm going to get all my new year's resolutions. But a lot of it is because they're in my routines now. So yeah, everything's kind of in a routine. And my friend said to me, my bestie, she was like aren't you kind of micro-managing yourself? And I told her, well, yes exactly. But that's what I want to do. Micro-managing is only bad if you're doing it to somebody else, but if you're doing it yourself… So now the only things I really have to decide about are the things that are going to make a huge difference in my life. And it feels really, really good and I'd highly recommend it to anybody.

Lisa: 20:55 I remember hearing someone interviewed who talked about the fact that they wanted to exercise in the morning, so they got in the habit of going to bed wearing their exercise clothes. So the first thing they did when they got up in the morning, was that part of their morning routine?

Melissa: 21:07 Yeah. And you know, I didn't make this stuff up. I'm not reinventing the wheel. The reason that I got these ideas is because of all the books I've read and a lot of them had the same thing in common. So most successful people have some sort of morning routine or different routines in their lives and they know about willpower. So I'm trying to adopt the things from people that I aspire to be. And that's one of them.

Lisa: 21:32 Absolutely. So one of the things I loved hearing about when I first started connecting with you was the fact that in one year you read 47 books and I don't know, did end up with 47 or did you read more since then?

Melissa: 21:44 It ended up at 49, 49. I loved it. I felt like I was soaring, but I have been trying to slow down a little bit because it wasn't leaving me enough time to implement. It was almost like a little addiction. I've got to remember I've got an addictive personality. Sometime's dial it back, but yeah, I read a ton of books. The more I read, the more I realized everyone was saying the same thing, whether I'm going for a book on spirituality or a book on mindset or business. They all have common denominators and it's just exciting, exciting stuff.

Lisa: 22:20 See, I also read my first self-help book when I was in college and it was called “The Road Less Traveled” and it completely set me off on a similar path that you described earlier in our conversation. But I definitely, like you, have noticed that there are patterns and there are themes. Are there any you'd be willing to share? Either specific takeaways from individual books or themes and integrated messages that the collection has given you?

Melissa: 22:47 Well, we've discussed routines and willpower and taking control of your mindset, but some of the ones that we haven't touched on are the power that you have over your brain. It first started getting to me with the book The Power and the Law of Attraction type stuff I really love, but there was kind of a disconnect with the Law of Attraction on how that worked. And so some of the more recent ones that I've really enjoyed are the ones on the neurological side of that, so “The Power of Habit” and basically on how to rewire your brain. And so this closed the loop….oh, “Psycho-cybernetics”, which is now I think my new favorite book, uh, but it's basically saying all the things that the law of attraction stuff says, visualize.

And so psycho-cybernetics is kind of a combination of how the brain works combined with a power of habit. Those two books combined taught me a lot about how to rewire things. And so it's all repetition in and sometimes people don't realize that even your self-image is a habit. So these little things that we tell ourselves, and it might be something that we heard back in our childhood or some people have parents that weren't the most supportive or you know, trauma can come from anywhere, can come from like somebody making fun of you in the third grade. But these things become these little habits and a lot of times they're subconscious. And so really I think what people don't don't see about the law of attraction is that when you start to visualize and you start to picture your ideal life, even if you have no idea how you're going to get there. Psycho-cybernetics calls it the Automatic Success Mechanism. And they use Olympians as an example. Apparently, most Olympians have read “Psycho-cybernetics”. It's one of the original self help books and so they did testing on like three different people on, let's say diving. And so one person is allowed to dive over and over and over again. The other person is allowed to dive over and over again, but then also visualize a perfect dive. And then the last person's allowed to just visualize their perfect dive. And then they tested them all and the one who only practiced over and over again did worse than the person who only visualized. And so, when you're visualizing something in your head, your brain is making neuro-connections and it's giving you the same as actual experience, which is why your mindset is so important. Because if you neglect your mindset, like you don't water it –you've got to remember to water it– then you, then you're allowing it to form its own patterns and you're not honing the skill and then suddenly you don't realize why your life turned out this way. You have more control than you think. And so a bunch of different books that I read “The Magic of Thinking Big”, “Spirit Junkie” was a good one. Um, “The Art of Learning” really had a lot to do with the same thing. They all kind of sum that up.

Lisa: 25:36 “The Art of Learning” is the one by Josh Waitzkin, right?  I have that book on my list for this year. So one of the things that I really appreciate about you in general, both in listening to your podcast, reading about you and I'm from our conversations already, is that seems like you connect seemingly disparate things, like creating a bridge between what seems like magic, the idea of law of attraction that seems almost unreasonable, almost so spiritual that some people might dismiss it– and looking at what the scientific or cognitive realities are that actually make those things make sense.

Melissa: 26:09 Yeah, and this is actually a perfect question for you in saying you wanted to read “The Art of Learning” because that's how that book came about. He started as a championship chess player and then he hit fame and started to lose his passion for it and took Tai Chi. And when he started to connect some of the things he learned in Tai-chi over with his chess, he realized how much learning, no matter what you're learning, coincides there. There was another book, “Will It Fly” by Pat Flynn, when I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. Every idea I had, I'd want to take and run with it. And it was really hard for me to lock on one thing that really excited me and I tried a ton of different things. Um, it was like the guy on parks and rec, if you ever saw that show, the little entrepreneur guy. There's a compilation on youtube of all the little businesses he tried in the show. I was like, that is me. I started a travel blog for a while. I even had a website called “Gifts for Teen Boys” at one time, but finally I read “Will It Fly”. One of the things they say to do is to send a letter to a bunch of people that you know, in different walks of life. So I sent it to an old boss. I had a family member or a best friend, an old roommate, and then saw the responses. And one of the things that they all said is that either something about connecting information or that I'm really good at organizing information to explain it. And so that gave me the idea for the podcast and I'm so thankful for that book because I figured out my ability to connect things. It's something I've always kind of known, but I didn't really know it was one of my Superpowers until fairly recently and now that I do, now that I'm aware of that, I've been able to kind of unlock more areas to use it. And it's been fun!

Lisa: Yeah, I totally see that. And so that's one of the things I really appreciated about your podcast. The podcast is, it seems, like a bridge to what could be esoteric principles, but in a way that's cool and kind of edgy and I'm sure it reaches people of your generation. And I think it's really a wonderful bridge in that way.

Melissa: Thank you. Yeah, it's been really fun. I've gotten a lot of positive feedback. I do it in a unique way. I've been trying to just combine, combine as many of my passions into it as possible. And I think that's the key.

Lisa: 28:20 Absolutely. So I want to just look a little bit deeper into Superpowers.  I wonder if you were to look back on the past –because one of my premises is that if we look at all the things we've done in our lives and all the learning opportunities we've had that will see patterns– and I'm wondering if it's possible for you to go back to the experiences of your past and notice some early signs of that superpower.

Melissa: 28:42 Yeah, I, I've always been a risk taker. A lot of people are afraid of sharing their full stories and as you can tell from this interview, I've shared a lot. But I realize from a really young age that people take things as you present them. So if there is something about yourself that you're embarrassed of, then you're going to convey it with shame and people tend to react to what you're conveying moreso than what you're saying. And so I'll say some crazy stuff about my past that people might think, “why are you sharing that?” But when you just do it with confidence, people feel like you're more relatable. So that's one thing that I realized when I was like 12, and I used to tell people, “yeah, people take things as you present them”. It was like a sentence that I said. So I think that led to wanting to have an audio podcast in my life. But I've also always taken risks and a lot of the risks I've taken have led to really awesome experiences. I'll give you an example. Two examples, actually. When I first moved to LA I was like, how am I going to get to all these Grammy parties? I need to meet celebrities.  I'd find out where they were, get dressed up and bring a wineglass from home with a little bit of wine in it, and then I would just, I would just pretend I'm on my cell phone and just walk past somebody. When you're dressed up and you have a wine glass, no one thinks that you did anything other than go outside to take your phone call. So I got into so many parties doing that. Another really good example of just going for it and it's a mindset thing, too. You've got to act like you own the place. My favorite story was, you know, how, um, during elections, the presidents have big benefit dinners. Well, Obama had one at George Clooney's house and it cost $40,000 a ticket. I crashed it until I was kicked out by secret service. I was there for an hour and a half and I was talking to Barbara Streisand about men when I got kicked out and they did it in a nice way because I convinced them they'd made a mistake. And so they weren't sure they weren't because uh, well they checked my id but they didn't cross-reference it with the list at three different points. It was crazy.

Lisa: Just because you were acting so certain, because you were presenting yourself as so belonging.

Melissa: Yes. Yes, exactly. And so I, I'm in George Clooney's backyard. I'm talking to Selma Hayek and Jack Black and, but then it came time for dinner and there was only a 150 spots– 15 tables of 10, and suddenly they were freaking out. They're like, we don't have a table for you. I was going to hide in the bathroom, but the person I was with kind of gave me away by asking for an extra seat and they're like, “we're going to have to split you up”. And they felt awful. I was like, “oh, I'm fine. I'll go to table seven” next to Barbara Streisand talking about dating and men for some reason.   She was with somebody. But um, and I don't know much about her.  Maybe she's married, that was probably her husband. So, I get a tap on the shoulder and they were like, “we're so sorry”. And I'm just like, “why would you even let me in if there was a mistake?” And they're like, “I don't know what happened at the front”. And I'm like, “well, OK”. And they're like, “well, we would let you stay, but we can't because everyone here has been vetted”. And so I'm walking down Hollywood hills in stilettos and all these motorcycle cops were finally a relaxing a little bit. One of them was like “leaving so soon?” thinking maybe I was going to my car or something. And I was like, “well, oh yeah, I just came for appetizers. I have somewhere else to be”. The jaws just dropped like who pays $40,000 to just come for appetizers. But yeah. So I've, I've done stuff like that my whole life.

Lisa: 32:10 What a fantastic story and an illustration of how having courage to just go for it is a Superpower.

Melissa: 32:17 I'm pretty sure what I did was illegal. So don't do this at home kids.

Lisa: Illegal, I don't know about illegal.

Melissa: Half a year later or something, there was some reality TV stars that are actually very wealthy that did something similar, like semi-crashing Obama's party. It was all over the news and people were talking about how maybe people should be arrested. And the people that knew that I had already done that…I got a bunch of people contacting me.

Lisa: 32:41 Well, listen, there are so many things that you touched on which I still want to ask you about, but we might have to do another episode at some point because I want to be respectful of your time. So it's been absolutely amazing talking with you. I've just so enjoyed myself and so enjoyed hearing your stories. Can you share with my listeners where they can follow you, where they can listen to your podcast?

Melissa: 33:01 My podcast is called Mind Love and you can find it at MindLove.com or in any of your favorite podcast players including Soundcloud or Spotify.  It's all about shifting your mindset to achieve anything. I've always believed that life is like a video game and you have to continuously be leveling up your character, so every week I bring on somebody inspiring that's pushing the boundaries of what we previously thought was possible and digging into their mindset a little bit. I'd love for your listeners to check me out.

Lisa: 33:31 Fantastic. Well thank you so much. I'll definitely put information for connecting with you in the show notes and thanks for your time, Melissa.

Melissa: 33:37 You're welcome. Thanks Lisa for having me on. It was really fun.

VO: 38:15 Thank you for listening to the Super Power U Podcast. Please subscribe to the show on iTunes and get more information at LisaBL.com.

the show notes, which you can find at LisaBL.com/8. Please do leave us a review on iTunes, subscribe and come back next week. I've got another great episode planned and I look forward to seeing you then.

VO: 44:27 Thank you for listening to this podcast. Please subscribe to the show on iTunes and get more information at LisaBL.com.

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