Matthew Solomon is a true coach for the modern soul. Matthew’s background as an author, award-winning filmmaker, healer, and coach all led him to a platform to speak up in this social justice conversation. He works with women, men, couples, and even teens to open the dialogue between one another and see each other for the potential and gifts we have rather than our differences. Today, he talks with Lisa about how growing up in West Hollywood shaped his own beliefs, what inspired him to write the much-needed book Man School, and ways to approach a complex conversation with integrity, appropriate boundaries, and an open heart in this melting pot of a world.
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- Matthew grew up in West Hollywood, and his upbringing allowed a first-hand experience of the mix between the need to feel connected and appreciating everyone’s unique story. His background in the entertainment industry, background in coaching and leadership, mixed with his love of helping women feel understood and strong, created the perfect platform for his current endeavors.
- Matthew’s book Man School was born out of a need for more effective communication. He saw that men didn’t know how to respond and many could benefit an acknowledgment to women that their story is valid while educating men.
- The “MeToo” movement was started in 2006 by a woman named Tarana Burke.
- Matthew feels as though we are moving forward to a time that calls for inclusion instead of separation, and where we drop the differentiators and just focus on the human before us.
- Matthew is present as a man with integrity to show it is possible to appreciate the qualities of a man or leader without the romantic or sexual connection. While as humans we seek attention, care, and affirmation, we can get it by not following all our impulses. Where some coaches and healers cross boundaries, Matthew takes boundaries and safety very seriously.
- When you know what you want and why you want it, you are a step closer to getting it.
- Matthew’s held space for 60 women as they told him some of their dating stories gone wrong, helped them understand why men may do certain things, and just listened.
- When men are able to step into their power and lead with integrity, they bring honor and strength to the equation.
- Matthew’s advice for connecting with anyone, especially those with a different perspective or experience: create an environment of appreciation. Acknowledge that their beliefs are true for them, due to their experience. Hold space for that, and respect where they come from.
“All of the career paths I have taken in the past were set up to give me a platform on the human experience.”
“We tend to think that our experience is the right experience. There is power in being able to listen to someone else’s experience and acknowledge it as true for them.”
“For me, there was nothing shocking about the quantity of the #metoo stories but yet, it was humbling to see it right there in my face.”
When you bring new paradigms, it is a shift that is sometimes difficult. Bringing a topic in a new way of thinking may feel uncomfortable.
“You get to deal with the person in front of you, instead of what their archetype is.”
“We’ve been taught so little about what’s available to us, and so we have all these expectations that are pretty impossible to live up to.”
Three Life Lessons:
- Get curious!
- Be open to hearing the experience of others.
- Know what you want and why you want it.
Mentioned in This Episode:
Man School: Relating with Women in the #MeToo Era, by Matthew Solomon
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